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We Road Trippin'

Checking out of Melbourne

Here I am (B.) folks, i’m back from the brink of death, nearly 16 hours of travelling, 24 hours of zero to little sleep and I personally have spent over $575 in that time, with C. spending around the $400 mark, essentially after the wear and tear on the car we’ve spent over $1000 dollars within 48 hours. Fuck.
Worth it? if you ask me i really couldn’t have asked for a better weekend, i got to see J. which has been a great thing for me and to spend her 21st birthday with her has made me sadder to leave her behind in melbourne.
C. on the other hand im not really sure on, he hasn’t had much time to sleep and process but i reckon he had a great time, I ended up coercing him into getting a spur of the moment tattoo “Don’t Panic” which obvious reference is obvious, I’ll be posting a couple of the pictures from our adventure as soon as physically possibly as we have very limited internet connection (fuck you vodafone).
We tried going to korpus to get the tattoo but they’re expensive as all shit, which this tattoo was too (140) and i just think “fuck it” we’re in melbourne its only money and now this has transformed C. is an actual ‘ard cunt. 
So this is later on in the night but C. and I are in the car right now and we were just remembering how funny Miss Mosh was, one of the funniest most amusing specimens that i’ve come across. So my point being is i met Miss Mosh earlier on in the night she was J’s friend coming for J’s 21st didn’t really know that many people only had heard of a few and knew of a couple of J’s friends, now she kind of seemed strange from the get go, not in the most notable weird way, but more in the oh dear (if anyone knows me at all who reads this will understand) way.
Miss Mosh i reckon ate about 9 sausages, 4 pieces of chicken, 3 sandwichs of salad and i reckon about $15 of L and T’s red rooster they bought, now this is the first “feasting” i witnessed this individual consuming. Lets take some strange tape worm’s or some form creature growing in her body but Miss Mosh is a over the top skinny lady, so comes round two and I offer to take her to Red Rooster as she’s still super hungry (i do not understand :\)
So we wonder off to Red Rooster (thank the lord that J lives soo close to red rooster or i wouldn’t of bothered) she continues to order around the $15-$17 again on MORE food, now normally I’m one to enjoy excess but still the fuck!? Now much to most peoples (not anyone reading this as im sure you can guess what happened) surprise at about 2am, J. had organised a lift for Miss Mosh, myself and herself to the kebab shop. Look we got their and J. knew the owners like HERP DERP J. knows everyone, and he sorted out Miss Mosh AGAIN for more food, which disappeared into this creature like a fart in the wind. 
Miss Mosh is the eating machine sent back from the year 2050 where her sole purpose is to consume every molecule of food to stop J and myself from having noms in the morning. 

So C. and I had huge plans for this weekend, everything had been planned by me into military type time scales and realistic plans for what we had both wanted to accomplish, C. being the photog and myself being the chaos creator.
I made a huge promise to both J and to A that very little drama would be occurring whether that be some silly little girls making comments of someones shoes or over flirtatious girls.
C. being the intelligent, smooth, chaos creator himself decided that today we should go be little photog’s and take photos, fuck tho did he do some crazy shit, some of which will be posted on this blog, he’s the kind of natural that only musicians can truly understand, just picks the camera up and turns it into gold.
We checked out PolyEster which was rad, heaps expensive tho, the books i wanted all started at $50 and went to over $150, Mein Kampf was only $50 which is ridiculously cheap, gotta go back soon and just start my collection of illicit books.

Look i’ve realistically got to get back to the “party” it was hilariously awesome, at first i was hoping please god just be chilled i want to go to sleep at 10pm in our room and wake up early cause i’d been travelling all night long and was over talking, socializing and even as far as existing. But like all things as the drinks kept flowing and the food went down, groups were formed the gorgeous asian party girls, the networking muso’s, the lesbian patrol, me being a sick cunt, C. being awesome and photographery like and various other floating members such as Miss Mosh, J and E. J had generously offered to be my personal pourer of beverages as when i get intoxicated i lose perception and start pouring half half mixes and end up on the floor starting shit with someone for speaking my mind.

Look i want to continue this but i cant be fucked right now.
I’ll save it for tomorrow.

Love you cunts.


"Checking out, It’s been real. Cunts."
- The Big C.

B Is being a dick. J Is drinking candy. A Is being boring. B and J made me get a tattoo today. B is making me post stuff. I have a beer.


The tunnel, it was awesome! Melbs is better.

The tunnel, it was awesome! Melbs is better.

Empire cafe in Brunswick


Empire cafe in Brunswick


Tagged with:  #melbourne
"Tasteh noms; Cupcakes and noodles when you’re at mumma j’s"
- J. to her pet rat
"427kms off the first tank"
- C. in reference to our fuel consumption

i thought this would be bigger

Writing this blog has been a form of sanity for me, i think since i’m usually driving to melbourne or back from melbourne that this has given me a unique opportunity to write about the experience.

I think you never really can understand a road trip until you’ve done both sides of the wheel, like the ups and the downs, the different driving styles, aggressive overtaking to passive cruising.

I hate C. I try and do something considerate and nice for him but he doesn’t take me seriously, I want to punch him in the sack and watch him bleed for the next week, is that a little too hard to understand?

My sub-dermal implant is getting itchy i think its because in this car its fucking hot, i dont know really why we dont have the aircon on or atleast the windows open. I love tattoos, we’re getting tattoos at some stage today, mini lightsabers and dildos on our fingers, so i can shiv cunts and C. can fuck them.

I’m so tired, C, looks like a unicorn haha, what the fuck im starting to see the dark elephant, i want more MONSTER :D 186kms to melbourne! I’m writing so many paragraphs because my internet is being fail so excuse the non sense post that is this giant post.

C. has the worst taste in music,

C. just saw a giant vagina with wings, think he’s tired or high? i do. both is my guess.

C. thinks im crazy, not the normal kind you know where you see shit and think its real more like the he’ll laugh at you when you break your leg.

C. is seeing red signs, well he thinks was red, i know the truth it was yellow, IT WAS NOT RED DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT CUNT he’s high and driving and im a good boy.

About to start the 12th chapter of my ongoing insanity, wish i hadn’t discovered this note thing, i am going to be grumpy and i think i need a nap, fuck fuck fuck fuck you. oh my god.

enjoy the wall of text cunts im not separating this (edit C. made me -.-)